I think I have held up pretty well emotionally this time around, considering the last time. I don’t know if it’s because the contractions are coming back, if it’s because the delivery is around the corner or if it’s just the hormones but I am starting to come unglued. I am snapping at my kid for the littlest things and I wanted to grab on to the hubs leg and beg him not to go to work this week, like I did with my dad when I was little. All the while I am doing my best not to burst into tears.
It’s clear the meds aren’t working, I’m not even feeling the side effects anymore. I spent all of Sunday debating with myself if I should go to triage or just wait until Monday, ya know just to see if they go away. I am hoping they tell me to up my dosage, maybe that will buy me a week, at least. The doctors office is supposed to have an after hours nurse on call however I haven’t had any luck reaching anyone.
I’m also feeling some anxiety about the c-section. I wonder if they can sedate me before they wheel me into the OR…I am afraid I will have a racing pulse and look like a sweaty convict. I will talk to the doc about it but in the meantime can we all think good thoughts that nothing dramatic happens again.
Anyway, changing subjects…I have had two pillows on the floor next to Kaili’s bed since she was falling out of it nightly. It’s been awhile since that has happened so I asked her if I could take them away, she said yes. In true fashion I forgot to move them. Before heading to bed myself, I went into check on her and found her curled up on those pillows on the floor, she even had her blanket on her. I wish I had taken a picture because it was really cute. I can only assume she put herself there, why, I have no idea. Anyhow, those pillows are still on the ground.
Quick, get some stuff done, Peppa Pig is on! Peppa is the choice of cartoons around here and when she says “it’s a bit cold mummy” I wonder if she is going to pick up the British accent.
She is starting to push it in the attitude department. Her favorite thing to say to me is “stop it mommy!” That is her response to anything I say, “because” is her next favorite word. “Kaili, why are you climbing on the counters? “Because.” “Why are you eating chaptstck?” “Because…STOP it mommy!!”