The Birds and the Bees

Every time I am at the doctor’s office meeting a new nurse or Dr. or if  it’s been at the hospital, I am asked about how we became pregnant through IVF. They want to know  why we went through the process. Bad eggs? Male Factor? They are curious to know how many attempts it took and did we go through IUI’s first.  It got me thinking about how “Taboo” it is to talk about infertility. Some women don’t mind sharing the daunting process of getting her ovaries plumped up with daily injections and then  going through the painful process of having a needle poked into those same ovaries to remove the multiple eggs she made. Other women, myself included had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that we couldn’t make a baby the old-fashioned way and announcing that was very hard to do. Infertility is a very stressful thing, more so when miscarriages are involved. When you do decided to let people know why you aren’t pregnant yet they want to be supportive but a lot of the time they don’t know what to say. You end up hearing things like ” you two just need to relax, go on vacation. It will happen” or ” maybe it’s just time to give it a rest, God has a plan and he only gives you what he knows you can handle” Oh, so I should just get over my life long dream to be a mother. Suck it up and get over how  sad and depressed that makes me?- (smack hand on forehead) Duh! Thanks I feel so much better now!!  These things are usually said by people who had sex without a condom and got pregnant without trying. Ugh, I hate those people. But we were very lucky to become pregnant and the whole process has made me a much stronger person. I don’t know if there is anything harder than accepting infertility. However these days doctors and technology are amazing so that makes it a little easier.

Thinking about all this put a vision in my head. It’s my daughter, she is 9 and wants to know about the “birds and the bee’s”. I sit her down for the talk, maybe it goes like this” Well dear, it happens in a doctor’s office where daddy performs the “secret handshake” in a fluorescent lit room while mommy lays naked from the waist down, legs spread and another man…” Too much? How about:”When a MasterCard and a doctor love each other very much…” Moms and dads feel free to send your children to me when the time comes. I will be happy to teach them where babies come from. 😉

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